Simple Journey

I want to know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life... --Mike Donehey, 10th Ave. N.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

A Baby Changes Everything

Ok, I agree, it was certainly a risky business impregnating a teen in 1 BC in Israel. Mary was surely "at risk".

But I want to pause a moment and give voice to a thought that has often niggled at the back of my mind when listening for the 7,214th time to a sermon expounding the dangers of Mary's situation, and her supposed fears and apprehensions, along with her near holiness at having been able to say yes. Don't throw tomatoes yet, folks, I'm not suggesting our Lord's mother was not special and blessed of God. But please take a look with me at another possibility....

"Wait, Mom wait! let me go see the baby!" My bratty sister (sorry, Jan!) assumed Mom would do just what she wanted, and she was right. We all had to stop on our way out of the grocery store while Janice ran back to "oo" and "ah" over the squiggling thing in the woman's arms. She was trying to hold him, keep two toddlers under control, and pay her grocery bill all at once. Just like our mother. Nothing interesting there. Let's go! But no, Janice had to make us all stand BORED out of our gourds while she went gaga over somebody ELSE'S sibling. Arrr!! It made no sense to me. When I was her age I simply ignored the things, didn't even know they existed. Couldn't play with them, and they were always getting everyone's attention. Forget 'em!

But not Janice. Even as a toddler herself she mooned over infants. As she got older, she followed young mothers around at church, or even in the store! Just to see their babies. She was ecstatic when a mother let her hold her precious child for a few minutes. I had no time for this, life was to be lived and I was ready to live it with both feet! But Jan stopped and took time to cuddle and coo over every tiny being that came her way.

As a teen, my sister babysat a lot. I did not. I was into my own pursuits and disliked smelly diapers. Jan seemed to find it as enjoyable to change a diaper as I did exploring the keyboard on our upright. I could never understand it. She was even requested by some mothers, because of her rapport with their kids and her obedience to the parents' rules. To me she was just an annoying little sister who always wanted to be a copycat (sorry again, Jan!). I couldn't see beyond my own absorptions. Jan always had her eyes out for "the least of these".

And so it was really no amazement to me at all that she should be the first of us three to start a family. It seemed like a natural outgrowth of who she had been becoming all her young life. I abhorred the thought of a life growing through childhood and adolescence only to end in motherhood, but she seemed as if that was her only goal in life. I could not fathom it, did not respect it, and though I loved them dearly kept as far away as possible from the noisy, carefree crowd that grew from her young love. Oi! give me a break!

The four were always running into, through, and around my life just when I least expected them, and usually when I most needed sleep. After a concert I'd come home in the middle of the night to find toys strewn around our parents home (they lived with us for some time due to her Air Force veteran hubby's being without work until he learned his father's business). I would be fast asleep in the morning, sleeping off a party with my fiance's friends the night before that got a little raucous, and in would come three half naked hoodlums armed with noise makers and smelling of someone's diaper, wondering why Aunt Patty didn't want to be up already and playing with them. Oi!

Don't get me wrong, I loved them fiercely, but I hadn't learned how you love children yet. However, this story is about Mary, and I digress. Back to the subject.

I watched my sister through the years become adept at handling four hoodlums at once, PLUS. Her kids' birthday parties always included hordes of hoodlums, and she actually smiled at them as she told them not to swing the cat by its tail or try out the new plastic baseball bat on their cousins' heads. I could never understand it.

I watched as she became a crafty homemaker, sewing needed items, lovingly cooking meals I'd never attempt for her half Mexican husband (tacos for Christmas???). I watched as she worked her way through a "deal-breaking" time in her marriage, supporting her husband through deep trials, and always determined to be the best mother God could help her to be. And they came out of that tunnel into the light, in which they both now walk together, radiant if not perfect.

I watched as she sent her children into the world, praying praying praying they would do right and find joy. I watch as each grandchild is welcomed, always attended by Grammy Janny. I watch as young people who may not be living the prescribed way of our faith nevertheless are welcomed into a loving home and nourished, while strongly guided to renew their lives. I watch as my sister struggles with questions too big for all of us, always praying, always seeking the most nourishing answers for her family. I see her "adopt" many and many a child and young person in her church family, and any others she may come in contact with.

I like to think she adopted her middle sister too. She has certainly taught her much, and if her middle sister may be forgiven for her earlier (and a few ongoing) transgressions and their accompanying pains, she will be blessed indeed.

None of her children were planned.

I know that God gave to my sister the life to which He called her. I know that He equipped her peculiarly for this work, that He gave her special gifts He did not impart to me, but I have had to work hard for, so that He could send her way strays and outcasts to be loved into fellowship with Him. I have learned so much from my little sissy over the years. I would never have attempted running a 10-boy den of Cub Scouts without the memories I have of her with young boys running circles round her, and how she kept her cool. Jan has a precious calling.

Was it that way with Mary? Did she yearn for a child with all her being, even before the culturally accepted time? Did all her heart grow even bigger upon every sight of a baby? Did she seize every opportunity to babysit? Did she choose rather to converse in toddlerese than with the learned on any subject except babies and children? Was she, in fact, EXCITED to be given the astounding news that she would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit? Right now?

Gabriel: "Hey, you favorite! Bless you more than all the other women! God is with YOU!"

Mary, to herself: "What the heck?! What on EARTH can this shiny guy be talking about? Wow! Have I done something out of context? He must have me mixed up with somebody else! Maybe God is mad at me! Is he here to tell me the earth is going to swallow me up like Korah and his family when they tried to seize the priesthood?!!"

Gabriel: "Don't be afraid, Mary, God's happy with you. Mary, you're gonna have a BABY! The Holy Spirit will cause this to happen in you, and so the child will be Holy and be God's Son. Ain't that great? You're gonna have God's Son growing in you, and God's Son will be born through YOU. If you don't believe it, just look at your cousin Elizabeth, even that old, childless thing's having a baby! You wouldn't believe it, except for this:

"With God nothing shall be impossible."

Mary: "Ok. Let God do whatever He wants to me, just like you said. I'm ready!"

This wasn't planned either.

Imagine if Mary had lived now. Would she have been excited at this news? Imagine this conversation set in 2009:

Gabriel: "Hey, you favorite! Bless you more than all the other women! God is with YOU!"

Mary: "What on earth? I'm busy, come back later! I don't have time for this now. Go see my secretary and he'll schedule you a meeting. I've got a conference call coming I can NOT miss!"

Or....

Gabriel: "Hey, you favorite! Bless you more than all the other women! God is with YOU!"

Mary: "Oh wow.... must have been SOME DRUG slipped into that drink last night....! So what gives with this?"

Gabriel: "Don't be afraid, Mary, God's happy with you. In fact, He's so happy He's decided to give you that baby you've secretly been wishing for but putting off for a later time, less filled with performances and ideas, on a schedule you thought you'd have completely under control. Well, I'm here to tell you that you actually have NO CONTROL OVER ANYTHING! Ain't that great? The Holy Spirit will cause this to happen in you, and so the child will be Holy and be God's Son. You're gonna have God's Son growing in you, and God's Son will be born through YOU. Now! If you don't believe it, just look at your cousin Elizabeth, even that old, childless thing's having a baby! You wouldn't believe it, except for this:

"With God nothing shall be impossible."

Mary: "Oh yeah? Fat chance, shiny guy! I've been on the pill for years, there is NO WAY I'm havin' a baby this year, buddy! Not with the opening of my new show, no WAY! I've got it all figured out. I'll have a baby when I'm good and ready, and not a minute nanosecond before, you hear?! Now get outta my way, I gotta show to do!"

Or.....

Gabriel: "Hey, you favorite! Bless you more than all the other women! God is with YOU!"

Mary: "Oh weird. Not what I'd planned for here. Interesting though....."

Gabriel: "Don't be afraid, Mary, God's happy with you. Mary, you're gonna have a BABY!"........etc.

"With God nothing shall be impossible."

Mary: "Ha! Really? Well.... I don't have that in my plan. MY plan calls for six more years of medical school and then internship and then starting a practice, so I can pay to keep myself and my child out of debt, the new evil that should be avoided at all cost, including that of starting a family when it is designed to be started. Nope. Not buyin' it, Gabe. I'll put it on the list to be planned in, though, as soon as I'm solvent and rock solid secure in the world. Sounds like a good idea, just not now. Thanks anyway, though. Maybe you should take a look at that teen down the street who married the drug addict and can't seem to find anything better to do than housework. She'd probably be really glad for something like a baby to distract her from her husband's drinking. Yeah, go on down by the railroad tracks there...."

Yes, laud and applaud Mary's meekness, her obedience, her courage. Yes, it could have been a disaster. But it wasn't. God saw to that. He chose the right mother, and the right father, for His Son. He knew what He was doing. And so did Mary, I think, in some ways. He put His Son with the most nurturing couple He could find on earth. A young girl something like my sister, I think.

This thought makes me smile each December when I hear the dire assumptions, albeit possibly true. Maybe, just maybe God had a different idea besides scaring a teen into responsibility. Maybe He actually wanted to fulfill her most precious dreams, kept only to herself for so long.

I wonder. A baby changes everything.