But that's Advent. This is Christmas, the 4th Day of Christmas. What did my true love bring me on this day? 4 calling birds, right? What are calling birds? Are they really singing? That would be nice. No, wait, it's now the 5th Day of Christmas: Five Gold Rings. Who needs those? Give me the birds!
But I'm still waiting. The Messiah has come and I'm still waiting. There's something wrong with that.
Michelle said something about that in her sermon Sunday, but I can't quite remember what exactly. I did type in the line I liked best here on Facebook, but there was more to it. We are still waiting around for the thing that has already happened.... to happen again? For an encore? That was part of it.
Am I waiting for an encore? No, not that!! I certainly don't want a reprise of what came before!! I feel like I'm waiting for something that was promised, but hasn't come, even though the time has arrived for it to be here. Am I waiting for something I've missed?
Yes. I certainly am.
I've been waiting for quite a long, long time. The promise has come, but I'm still in a holding pattern. That's so hard! I'm a girl of action, movement, not stillness, not hesitation.
And yet.... So many times in my life I've been the one to be still when others act, to hesitate when others rush out. Why? Because I couldn't see the promise was already here? But I didn't have it yet. Now that I do, what should I be waiting for?
Well, I guess I know the answers to that. I just don't like it. It isn't me. It isn't ..... yare (yes, I looked up that spelling). Yeah, that weird term from that great old movie, The Philadelphia Story. Good old Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart. Love 'em!
I don't know what that word yare could mean, really. Daddy didn't teach me all the sailor terms he must have learned in the navy in WWII, and around Long Beach and Newport and Balboa. But it apparently means something really good and square and right. And that's just what my situation is not: good and square and right. Not yare. Not a good floating vessel, this life I'm in right now.
But it's one I wouldn't trade for anything else in the world! All it needs is a little adjustment here and there. Then I think it will be quite yare indeed.
yare (pron: yar) (adj)
Definition: Describing a boat that handles with little effort. A good sailing design, quick and capable.
There, just like I thought. Good and square and right. And quick, yeah, I like that. Capable, well I could be more of that, I suppose.
Just under it in the Nautical Dictionary I found online is this:
yaw (n)
Definition: The turning of a boat off course caused by seas arriving at an angle.
See Also: pitch, roll
Yes, that's how I feel. Not yare, but yawing. Seas at an angle (not angel) have definitely arrived. Why they couldn't have arrived straight on, when a sailor was ready and in good position for them, I'll never know. But that's how it occurred, and that's how I have to take them. Seas at an angle to the rest of my life, proving my boat not yare (pron: yar), causing me to pitch and roll ridiculously, like a school girl.
But I wouldn't have it any other way. Not for the lessons I've learned, not for the knowledge I could have gained no other way. And not for the heart as ready as mine is now to give so much more than to receive.
Lord, I want to be yare, please. I'm ready. Please square me up so I quit this yawing.
Simply waiting,
Patty
