Simple Journey

I want to know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life... --Mike Donehey, 10th Ave. N.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Princess Living

Dear friends,

Recently God has seen fit to test me, and to allow satan to "sift me like wheat" (a paraphrase of something Jesus said to Peter once). There are a few circumstances in my life right now which, given alone, would each "sift" the heart of the bravest princess in the highest kingdom. I have three such. And often I feel am indeed "sifted like wheat", poured out through little holes in my own heart continually throughout each day.

But I looked up that quote, and it happens after Jesus creates the ritual of Communion, the historic gathering of the Church to commemorate the Last Supper. I remember what Peter did later, how he denied Jesus three times in the courtyard, waiting for the verdict to come down on Jesus. How he cursed and swore to prove he was not a follower of the Meek One. How he then went and cried his soul out in anguish - because he'd done the denying Jesus had predicted? because Jesus was about to be crucified? because all his dreams of the Kingdom-come-right-now were vaporizing before his eyes?

I've been there, and recently.

I won't go into detail on any of the three sifting circumstances now in place in my life. But you need to know they are no less powerful to me than Jesus' impending crucifixion to Peter. Sometimes it seems to me my Savior disappears, vaporizes, in the midst of the doubt-producing events occurring as I type this. As a child of the King, raised to act as such, taught to walk in the light and not in the darkness, schooled to show myself approved unto God, this presents yet another hardship: how to consistently walk through it all, carrying myself like the princess I am.

I have a beloved friend, my best friend since high school, whom I can call at any time of the day or night, and talk about anything my heart desires. Such a friend is worth more than her weight in gold, especially in these times. Lately I've been calling just about every other day or so, and she never fails to remind me that I am a princess of the Most High King, never fails to help me figure out what that means for the day I'm in. It seems in this time - when I finally think I've found a footing on this shifting ground, and then one of the three trying circumstances tugs at my strings and pulls me out of kilter - it seems there are no answers for how a Christian woman can walk like a princess of the Most High King. There are too many stressors, too many unknowns, too many surprises in this life. How can one stick to something so archaic as princesshood amid the daily American life of a mother in this new century? How can I hold to the promises and "just keep walking" with my head high and a smile on my face, while all around me the waters are raging and the mountains are crumbling and the things I placed my trust in long ago are evaporating? Where is the instruction? What are the rules?

This morning I logged onto my email to read the daily devotion and verse I receive automatically from the Bible Gateway website. Lately these have been unusually appropos to my situation. Hm, funny thing that... Today is no exception. Here is the verse, arrived in the night while I slept, generated months ago by whoever placed it in the memory banks of the website's computer:

Colossians 3:12
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

I love this verse for more than one reason. First, it tells me I am chosen. Second, it tells me I am loved. And third, it instructs me how to walk. I may not like the idea of walking in this manner. I'd much rather throw a fit and go into hysterics and lean on those who offer themselves far more than is called for. But God commands his children to "clothe yourselves" in the fruit of the Spirit, clothing that becomes a child of His. I find this command precious to my soul.

Also, when Jesus had risen from the dead and gone to meet the disciples on the lake shore, frying fish for their breakfast, He made sure to let Peter know he was forgiven. He didn't ask anything of him except love. He didn't tell him how bad he'd been, He didn't show him up in front of the others, He didn't rake him over the coals for his triple betrayal. He simply asked if he loved Him, and gave him the task of feeding the flock of the Church, including the little ones. How amazing! How it goes against all modern concepts of how to pick a CEO! Who's going to run the Church of Jesus? Why, the guy who failed the most at supporting Him in His hour of need!! Of course! What??

So when I fall flat on my face at being a princess, the Most High King doesn't give me a dressing down in front of His court. He lifts me up gently and assigns me a new job that only He can see me fit for. And He gives me instructions in His Word. And these instructions are nothing new, I've grown up with them. But now I see them as more beautiful than ever before, now I see them as not a choice, but a command, more than ever before. Now I take on this command, and devote myself to wearing daily the clothes of a princess of the Most High King, "compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience".

Against such there is no law.

Simply walking,
Patty