On My Face

This is just what I do, and I'm told I do it well. I write emotions. Sigh... Oh well. Though no one who can pay money really seems to want to pay money for writing emotions, it's what I do, so I'll do that.
Emotions aren't always appreciated by others, though. Self-focus is perceived by many as self-centeredness. This is tragic, at times, because it separates people and keeps them from understanding each other.

And why do I remain so self-focused in my writings? If I were really mature, as I well ought to be by this age, I'd be focusing on others in my writings, not on myself, right?
But no one can clearly see others if the log isn't first taken out of their own eye. And my self-focus has this purpose, only for a time, only to finally clear the huge, redwood-tree log out of my way, to clearly see all the people around me. See them for real, in truth, in compassionate acceptance for the people they truly are.

That's it. That's my purpose. That's my focus. For that reason.
So I share emotions, because they are the feedback of our souls, and I find I am not alone in this journey of self-understanding for the purpose of living strongly in the world with clear other-understanding.

Clear away the motes and the logs and the bricks and the walls I've put up between myself and those that I fear, because I don't understand them, because the Bible condemned them, because my parents reject them, because my own self is averse to their existence due to all the above. Clear it away! Have nothing between the me and the them, the me and the you.

Nothing, that is, except a cross, which beam connects with God, which arms connect me to you.
If that One came to be lifted up across the walls we raise between each other and a ladder to God on High, how can we turn our backs on Him, on His sacrifice, on His Way, the Way of the Cross of our own walls and motes and logs.

On my knees.

On my face.

On my face and on my knees before God, before you, I humbly offer my sacrifice: walls and logs and motes of tradition and rules and judgment and alienation and ostracizing and aversions.

And my apologies - such a weak word for what I feel, but what other is there? - for my blind part and my conscious part in your lifelong struggles.

Love is Lord of heaven and earth; how can I keep from singing it to you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRhujopTr9k&start_radio=1&list=RDBRhujopTr9k

I am debating taking this blog down.

I am not who I was when I began it, I am not even who I was when I changed it, nor even who I was last week, or even yesterday.

It is full of innocence and ignorance. Life is never simple. Never.

I will take the writings off, and save the images, and perhaps refer to them in the future. But they are not who I want to present to the world, ravings of someone who thought she knew something about life, about God, about love.

So I'm going to take them out of the world as far as I can, and save them only to remind myself how blind I've been.

I only know this: God is good. All the time.

Simply repentant - no, not "simply", not ever again, for nothing is simple, ever again.

Patty

https://www.jwpepper.com/sheet-music/media-player.jsp?&type=audio&productID=10607033