To one I returned a prayerful message of support. To the other I did not yet, as the news came via a mass mailing generated by our church choir director. I will send this person a message when I have something better to say besides, "How sad!".
That's why I'm here right now. I've come here to process this news and this feeling, and hopefully come out of this time with peace and words of support for my friends. Already I have a starting point, a verse which came to me as I typed the message to one friend.
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalm 28:7
I love this verse. I am a singer from birth. When I'm happy, I sing. When my heart is hurting, I seek a song to express it. When I doubt, or strive in prayer for words, it's the words of songs that I think of first. I thought first of this hymn:
"When peace like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll,
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
"It is well, it is well with my soul."
From there words simply flowed, from the Spirit to the page, and I found myself typing a prayer just thought up on the spot that fit the circumstance perfectly. These were not my words, I am a bumbler when it comes to words, which is why I sing - somebody else can think them up much better than I! I guess Somebody did.
So just now, while attempting to remember why I thought I had to type this in here, on the Oprah show my son was watching in the next room there came a singer who performed the "Hallelujah" from Shrek that I've loved for years. How right for my mood, how perfect the words for my friend's situations! I once had a pastor who preached an entire sermon on this song. That was before I ever saw Shrek. I can't hear it now without crying at some point. I've learned what "it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah" really means.
Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah lyrics
And I think I know why that pastor took the entire sermon slot to expound upon a pop song not many had yet even heard. His point, if I remember right (and that's debatable), was that the singer kept on singing "Hallelujah". He kept on singing it, over and over. He said that's the life of faith, that someone decides that his praise is broken, his life means nothing, his hope is dead - but he keeps on singing "Halleujah". Doesn't stop. Goes on and on, singing this one word: "Hallelujah".
This word is Hebrew הַלְּלוּיָהּ. In our favorite church Latin it's Alleluia. Means the same thing. From Wikipedia:
In the Hebrew Bible hallelujah is actually a two-word phrase, not one word. The first part, hallelu, is the second-person imperative masculine plural form of the Hebrew verb hallal. However, "hallelujah" means more than simply "praise Yah", as the word hallel in Hebrew means a joyous praise, to boast in God, or to act madly or foolishly.The second part, Yah, is a shortened form of the name of God YHWH, sometimes rendered in English as "Yahweh" or "Jehovah". in Hebrew means a joyous praise, to boast in God, or to act madly or foolishly.
So, praise God. Praise God when your daughter's upcoming marriage dissolves and simultaneously you're summoned to defend yourself in a court of law - you, a fine, upstanding citizen and humble Christian. Praise God when you've walked with a family member through their own personal hell, then buried one of your best friends, then your wife gets breast cancer. Praise God. Praise God when you receive your notice this time that your job is being cut, and you just put your daughter in an expensive college because it's the right thing to do for her. Praise God. Do this mad, this crazy thing, and do it in a joyous way!
Not because we're happy. Not because we think if we do God will remove the horrors and the heartache from us. Not because we're good mules and do what we're told. Not because we just always have so we always will because we're creatures of good habit. Not because we're afraid if we don't we'll go to hell when we die of this thing.
We praise God in horrible times because we praise God! We praise God in terribly sad times because we praise God! We praise Him alike in good and in bad, knowing exactly what's coming next and knowing nothing about tomorrow; anticipating good things and fearing the worst. Praise God!
We can't hold it together, folks. We try and we try so hard we break with trying to hold all the pieces in place long enough to take one crummy picture to remember the moment by. But we can't do it. We're a cold and broken people, and if we don't realize it and start foolishly singing a cold and broken Hallelujah, we're going to disappear entirely, because we're not strong enough to exist in and of our human selves. Nope. Sorry. Can't do it. We're not magical beings, and all our amazing brains are only piddly compared with the universe God created.
So we choose to praise, instead of curse. We choose to walk in faith alone, when there is nothing under our feet resembling solid earth, when the rug has been pulled, when the pit of our stomachs are turned to quivering water.... because He is God, and we are His people and the sheep of His pasture, and that's what God's people do.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
We praise Him because we're His sheep and He is the Good Shepherd, who knows the sheep and just what makes us tick. He knows what we need before our requests are even on our lips, He has already answered them, provided exactly the right thing, filled the order to perfection, better than we can ourselves because He knows so much better what we truly need.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Sing praises to the God of your life, who is still the God of your life whether you feel happy or sad, secure or scared to death. Praise Him with singing, and praise Him with dancing. No sitting in the pew praise, this! No mumbling behind a hanky! Stand up and hit that high C! Make a spectacle of yourself, already! Go ahead and break the family rules, draw attention to yourself, stick out like a sore thumb, I dare you! Just see what singing a resounding Hallelujah! can do for your outlook.
If you think I'm talking a lot of hot air, just know that I have tried this, and I cannot describe the balm that came over me in the midst of a heart-breaking Thanksgiving celebration while my father lay wasted away in his bed down the hall and the family joined in proclaiming Psalm 136 in chorus, whether they thought I was crazy or not. Dad died the next December 29, 2002. He is now singing forever:
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Someday I'll join him in harmony, but I join him every time I sing down here while I live out this life I've been called to sing through.
Hallelujah!
Simply praising,
Patty
Well said, Patty. We are to praise Him in all things, which is so hard sometimes. Finding God in the good things is easy. Finding Him in the hard things demands more from us, but He is always there.
ReplyDeleteSo often we can't find God. This is for those times. Because He is always there, just like the poem says, carrying us when we see only one set of footprints. My prayer is that we become strong to know that He is always carrying us, whether or not we can see Him. Blessings on your Pathway.
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